Ten Easy Steps to Being Your Own God

1. Research matters. Light, dark, firmaments, air, water—
(Earth, Wind & Fire if you want to be relevant…)
Gardens are optional, as are snakes and fruit.

2. Rules matter, mysteries too.
The more the better. Contradictions create
doubt, doubt ignites fear; fear gets them in the door.

3. Destroy something right out of the gate.
(See #2) Flood ‘em, burn ‘em starve ‘em.
Not everyone has the stomach for Omnipotence.

4. Keep your virgins separate
from your pigeons.
Organization is the cheapest wisdom;
aphorisms the poor man’s enlightenment.

5. Have a Son, give him Uber powers, kill him.
Have a Sacred Ghost share the story.

6 & 7. No worries, you can skip these.
You’re a Deity. WTF!

8. Keep a journal. Directions matter.
Remember, the only thing you don’t know
is what it’s like to not be you.

9. Tread carefully with technology.
Wooden arks are one thing; AI quite
another. Remember the Apple?
There’s an algorithm right now
that thinks it’s you.

10. Hell’s a necessity you’ll realize
as eternity wears on. Forgiveness
must be more than infinite.