please don’t wake me, i am dreaming?

The sterile walls come alive,
color outpouring from all the mouths
that were clandestine, patiently waiting
to announce my next departure.
Two doses inhalation
until my eyes roll back,
sinking into an entire universe,
another place to be misfitted, misshapen in.
I watch myself exit the physical space,
observing the mouths turn
into sinister yet welcoming grins.
My body floats into a nebulous figure,
someone who didn’t want to be in this skin,
ready to evacuate these plains of doomed Earth
Earth, make that visit to Do and Ti
as they welcome me to their Gate.
I watch my birth and death in serene ease
as my former selves collide into a waltz
into a waltz, begging to be whole again.
My mother screams into my protruding ribcage,
third dose blazing heat into each nerve of my nose,
chasing down the version of myself, a body
that no longer belongs to anyone,
running to the sounds of “Karma Police”
to arrest and cure myself,
to survive another trip of generational trauma.
Numbers crawl across my skin like a fevered dream.
I howl into the abyss, a victorious war cry,
and I awake into a temporary tranquility, still
until the doctor prescribes the next fix.